I was reading casually through the pages of a book until my eyes stopped for a minute when I read ”with nothing apart from the keys to their houses”. In that moment, I realized that I left mine home. So, I wouldn’t have the willingness to go back. Imagine leaving your home for a short period of time with only your keys to realize later that they are your last memory. For instance, I wished if I had brought my keys with me.
I went through this conflict of remembering all the times I threw them effortlessly away whenever I came back home from work, friends, or visiting my grandparents. And even the times I came back frustrated. Now, the sound of them falling on the small round table, at the entrance of the door, echoes loudly inside my mind and in my dreams.
De-Attachment is a process
It is strange yet sad to find a memory in something we usually take for granted. Ever since the day I came to France, I had many keys to many places I considered ”home”. Even when it was for a short period of time. The first key I had here, it was a little bit difficult for me to let it go after I finished my rent period. Then I learned to gather myself up and stop attaching myself with ”keys”. However, I remember the second time was the hardest because I was attached to the place and the area. I couldn’t sleep for a whole week when it was confirmed that I would have to leave. After that, it got no emotions involved or maybe I got used to hiding them.
The third time, I already situated myself with the idea and I gave up my keys so easily. Because of COVID-19 restrictions, I left them in the mailbox of the building and walked away. I didn’t want to overthink it or look back. I wanted everything to end the moment I leave the keys and it ended. It is a process and time gives us the opportunity to comprehend the change we are living. Nothing is constant and we only learn it through life events. They don’t have to be life-changing events. Sometimes, keys can be a good reminder.