March 18th, 2020
Tomorrow is my birthday. It is 1:37 am, here I am watching a series called Mind-Hunter, it was recommended by a friend and it is about two FBI agents who are studying criminals psychology and I am very interested in stories about crime and detection. It is the fifth unofficial date since I started self-isolation and the second as announced by the French government.
I am still stressed by the situation and it is honestly getting on my nerves. I have been having my days on repeat. I wake up almost at the same time, I am now struggling with sleep deprivation as I am getting am not able to sleep. I don’t know what is the right word to use in this crisis.
It is 3:38 am, I haven’t slept yet. I don’t know why. I watched two TV series but still not feeling sleepy. I feel overwhelmed by this situation. Isolation feels weird and lonely. All I have is myself and my room. I was wondering if my room was smaller than this and I don’t have enough space, what will I do? I don’t have an answer.
I am sitting by the window and watching over the traffic light changing from green to red. The street is empty. There are no cars at all. Usually, I would hear the sound of drunk people at this hour speaking loudly and moving cars as I live by the main street but everything seems still. It feels so weird. I don’t even know where the homeless people I have been seeing in my neighbourhood are. They disappeared too!
It still feels surreal in a sense. I still think that it is maybe a nightmare I will wake up from but it seems real day after day. I tried to study and do some research today. I am no longer procrastinating to send emails and maybe this quarantine was the solution to this problem of mine. The weather is beautiful today, the sky is clear and the air is fresh. This state of calm is peaceful. No sounds of people, cars, or the metro. Everything is frozen in the moment. Again, I don’t know what is the right word to use in this crisis.