The relationship with our bodies is very complicated. In fact, it has always been complicated. We try to find the silver lining but it never works. It is either we go extreme or we don’t bother at all. The acceptance process is not easy and we may never reach the point of acceptance and it is more of a coping mechanism with what we have and how we look. Some people struggle in their own skin and it can turn into a toxic relationship, either you gain too much weight or you begin to loose too much weight and you end up not satisfied either ways.
My relationship with my own body has not been a good one though I didn’t struggle with obesity or any form of unhealthy status that put me physically at risk. I reached a point where I was obsessed with skinny bodies and the importance of having a thigh gap. I underfed and lost weight quickly until I reached a critical point. I was obsessed with having a fulfilling breakfast while staying hydrated during the day and eating less until I get physically weak by the night and sleep. My main meal was breakfast and I technically ignored eating afterwards.
I thought I was sleeping because of the effort I was putting but turned out I was falling asleep because I was hungry and I would wake up exhausted and longing to eat everything and anything. I had that life style for over six months until it was too much but I had the same style in the back of my head. After that, I discovered that exercising can be fun and running was my jam. I started to learn how to run a 5k, 10k, and half marathons.
I don’t remember appreciating my body or even understanding its downfalls and how it reacts to protect and contain me. For years, I had this lifestyle of excessive workouts and running sessions with healthy food that I turned my body into a boot camp. I could not forgive it when it couldn’t function well or when it was tired. I saw it more of a machine than a viable thing. I could not comprehend the downfalls and never interpreted them in any way possible.
Until three years ago, something hit me and I stopped obsessing over my body and the way it looks. I was going through so many things and obsessing over my body was not an option I could consider and had important things to worry about. During that time, my body was going through changes and I was gaining and losing weight frequently but in 2018, I had the worst emotional and mental states. I was over eating and it was more of emotional eating that even my parents noticed and it was not normal. I gained weight because my body was trying to help me contain my troubles in that way, still, I didn’t do anything about it as stress was piling up more.
However, I decided to get to know my body and understand it. I learned to respect it and respect the changes it goes through. It is heavily affected by my emotional and mental status and only in 2019, I began to preserve it differently. The female body is a master piece if taken care of properly. What I understand that it is important to take care of our bodies but let’s embrace our shapes because there is no perfect set or shape out there.
Take a moment to really look at your body. I now appreciate my stretch marks and I think they are truly beautiful. My curves which I hated before and worked hard to erase them, turns out that they flatter my shape. My body shape is beautiful. I no longer want a thigh gap and my thighs are beautiful the way they are. Take care of your bodies in a healthy way, ladies, and appreciate the changes you go through. Those changes are not in vain, they are signs. Pay attention to those signs and act accordingly. Remember, love your curves, they aren’t flaws, As there is no comparison, and just no one like you.