Suppose you scroll through social media, specifically Instagram and maybe other platforms. In that case, you might have passed through this recent trend where people use ”I am (age), and I am not afraid to admit” reflecting on numerous things they are not afraid to admit on many aspects, such as health, work, relationships, etc. I also wanted to use this space to share a few reflections I am not afraid to admit at almost 31.
1- I love my independence, but sometimes I wonder if I’ve grown too accustomed to being on my own. There’s a certain freedom in feeling entirely at ease with myself, but I can’t help but ask—has this comfort turned into a barrier? Over time, I’ve learned to rely on myself for almost everything, to the point where accepting help sometimes feels unfamiliar, even uncomfortable. It’s a habit I’ve tried to unlearn, and I think I’ve made some progress. But still, I worry. Has my self-sufficiency made it harder for me to let people in? Am I unknowingly keeping others at a distance?
2- I’ve seen and experienced unhealthy relationships, and I know without a doubt that being alone is far better than being in the wrong one. A few years ago, my focus shifted entirely to building my career—gaining experience, growing professionally, and securing my independence while understanding myself better. Somewhere along the way, relationships fell to the side, not intentionally, but gradually, as my priorities evolved. I became more practical in my connections, valuing purpose and depth over fleeting interactions, even if it meant that I only developed work-related connections.
But now, I sometimes wonder—have I become too practical? Have I approached relationships with the same logic and efficiency I apply to my work, filtering out anything that doesn’t immediately fit? I know for certain that I value quality over quantity, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But is it okay for things to be the way they are, or have I unconsciously built a mindset that keeps me at a distance? I don’t regret the choices I’ve made, and I still believe in meaningful connections over just having relationships for the sake of it. But sometimes, I ask myself if I should be more open, less pragmatic, and allow things to unfold naturally rather than keeping my guard up.
3- I crave stability, yet I constantly seek change and new challenges. In recent years, I experienced a shift where stability became more important than anything else, and I think it is normal. I believe this is part of growing up and maturing. However, as stability has become increasingly integral to my life, I still find myself looking for change and new challenges to tackle. Sometimes, I wonder if it is because of my personality or if there is another reason I must try to identify.
4- I used to avoid the idea of meeting someone and starting a family—not because I didn’t want it, but because it scared me, and years ago, I saw it as an obstacle. The uncertainty, the vulnerability, the possibility of losing myself in something I wasn’t ready for. But over the past few years, I’ve worked through those fears, slowly untangling them, and now, the idea no longer feels intimidating. Instead, it feels… distant.
Somewhere along the way, as I focused on my own path, I stopped expecting it to happen. Not out of fear, but simply because it seems so far away, and I am focusing on what I have in hand instead of on an idea or an assumption. I’ve made peace with it, yet at times, I wonder if I’ve grown so accustomed to this lifestyle that the possibility of it happening feels less and less real.
5- I’ve struggled with obsessing over gaining weight for years, even though I have always had a normal weight. For as long as I can remember, I have always struggled with my body image. Although my weight has been normal, I always hated it whenever I gained weight. I have reached the stage of obsessing over losing weight during many stages in my life. This problem accumulated until last year and developed into a minor general fear of eating and food, from which I am still recovering today. The experience was like a wake-up call, and it changed so much inside me on this specific issue, but I realised it way too late.
6- I don’t feel behind in life, but I do feel different from most people my age. As I approach 31, I still feel like I’m in my late twenties—like time has moved forward, yet I don’t quite feel the number. It’s not that I haven’t grown or evolved, but my path has unfolded differently. I don’t see this as a bad thing, but it does make me feel somewhat out of sync with the people around me as I have spent three-quarters of my twenties abroad and entered my thirties with a life abroad and a different type of stability. I’ve built a life I love, yet there’s this strange sense of existing between phases—no longer in my twenties, but not fully feeling like I belong to my thirties either.
Do you resonate with any of the points listed above, dear readers? Feel free to share your feedback via the Contact Me section on the blog. I’m happy to hear your thoughts and comments.