I was happy that my first trip this year was to my home country, Libya. A trip that didn’t really take much to plan but took way too long to make it happen. I sort of forgot that home is really a ticket away from here (technically). For this trip, I didn’t plan this trip and never thought it would happen the way it happened. I think good things are usually unplanned, so I seized the opportunity. Even though my visit was for administrative reasons, I wanted to see my grandparents.

In fact, I hadn’t seen them since leaving in 2018. If you are following the blog, you know by now that I have been living in France since 2018. I never thought I would live in France for longer than the intended 2 years of my master’s studies. However, moving forward 7 years, here I am, an expat now living in this country.

A Delayed Visit

For personal and external reasons, I haven’t been able to visit my home country for this long. I will not dive into the reasons, but early this year, I just decided that I wanted to visit home. Like they say, on a random afternoon. It happened just a few days before the travel date, and I think the best things are usually unplanned. I went home full of excitement, longing, and happiness.

Previously, I had conflicting feelings about returning home. However, this time, I was ready to visit even though I only stayed for a week or so. Even though I hate traveling by airplanes, ironically, my lifestyle for the past two years has been full of flying! Nonetheless, this specific flight to Libya was different. I was excited rather than the usual fear and stress I felt during every flight, and time passed quickly. I took the trip from Paris to Rome and then from Rome to Tripoli.

Filled With Emotions Back Home

Honestly, since 2021, I somehow decided to disconnect a little from Libya’s affairs, which I was too invested in. As a result, it affected me negatively. Back then, I decided to disconnect and focus on where I was. I wanted to be more in the present time and stop worrying about many things. I just wanted to live in peace without clinging to the past or worrying about the future. Since then, I have started to feel better, regardless of the other challenges I faced while navigating life in France.

I was excited about seeing my grandparents at last. My relationship with them is very close; my grandmother and grandfather, or as I am used to calling them, Nanna and Jedo. They are so dear to my heart. I was lucky enough to have had many unforgettable memories with them. I truly missed spending my days when I was back home with them. My closeness to them was to the point that my grandpa made a copy of his house keys so I could come whenever I wanted.

Back Through Memory Lane

As much as I am aware administrative procedures in Libya are complicated, I was impatient to hug my grandparents, finally spend time with my family, and see my close friends. I missed being home, for instance, the routine I don’t have in France, such as spending late afternoons drinking tea at my grandparents’ house while the whole family gathers. Also, I missed outings with my two close friends and spending time together. I missed driving downtown through Hay Alandalus towards Omar Al-Mukhtar Street, visiting the old city of Tripoli, walking around Mezran Street, and going out with my aunt running errands. These details were the ones that I missed the most, and I felt that I couldn’t wait any longer to go back, even if it were for just one week.

Reality Hit…..

As the airplane neared the runway, I realized seven long years had passed since I had been home. In fact, I realized that I spent three-quarters of my 20s and entered my 30s abroad without any visits to Libya, five years of which were utterly alone without seeing my parents and brothers. I am unsure how I managed to do it, but I did, and it hurts me sometimes that I went this long without seeing them.

Anyway, upon arriving, it was surreal, but I was smiling from ear to ear the whole time. As I mentioned, I had heard about many changes in Tripoli, so I was excited to see what had changed and to be in my home, my family’s home, and to hear about the changes they made while I was away. But I wasn’t prepared for the economic situation and how expensive things became, which is a topic to discuss maybe in another blog.

The whole time, I wanted to capture every detail and collect it all in my bag to take it back to France. I visited the old city of Tripoli, which I have narrated stories about on my blog for a long time. And finally, I saw the Tripolitanian Library open. I also got to walk on Shat Road and see the new Cornish by Dat-Alemad buildings (or, as called locally, the flipped buildings). Of course, I have visited many coffee shops around Tripoli and cannot stress that coffee in Libya is the best! Also, I wanted to see all the latest shopping centers, stores, and restaurants that have opened. Tripoli became a bustling city, and the city’s lifestyle changed a little since I noticed people were always outside, and of course, the traffic got worse!

Realizations Upon Returning Home

Returning home made me realize and reflect on so many things. For instance, while there, I understood how my life in France has been around work, and it has become very practical even though I now have a better lifestyle, to an extent. Nonetheless, it made me reflect on everything I achieved, learned, and developed while living abroad, for which I will always be grateful.

For example, starting my life here as a student, managing every detail, dealing with endless French administrative procedures, getting my master’s degree, and starting my professional career. While living abroad, I learned how to seize every opportunity and make the best of it. The entire experience is not something to take lightly, let alone allow anyone to belittle it.

During my time in Libya, I truly valued the conversations I had with my grandfather and uncle. Our discussions made me reflect on my long journey, which has never been easy. They both inquired about how I am managing things in France and expressed their support and kindness through their words. I’ve been talking about changes, and it struck me that not only has the city changed, but I have also transformed from the person who left Libya in 2018. I am genuinely grateful for this personal growth and for becoming who I am today; I know it wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t left home. Nonetheless, while in Libya, I felt like a tourist in the place I grew up in while preparing to return to another place in this world that I consider my home; France.

This short visit to Libya was long-awaited, and I’m glad it finally happened. Of course, it won’t be my last. Until then, Libya, see you soon.

Don’t forget to check my latest vlog about my visit to Libya on my YouTube channel: Visiting Libya After 7 Years Abroad